


A Futile War

by KassandraScarlett



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25655716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KassandraScarlett/pseuds/KassandraScarlett
Summary: Lisa stares at the photo for a few seconds. She wonders why she ever thought she had a chance of winning.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 107





	A Futile War

_"I miss you. But… I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't. I can't let you go and not know if you'll come back alive or not. And Ben can't do that either. You have to choose, Dean. I'm sorry, but… Choose. Please."_

* * *

Lisa Braeden is not a selfish woman. She loves Dean, of course she does. But that's not why she makes him choose. It's for Ben, she tells herself. Because she doesn't want to have to tell her son one day that Dean didn't make it back alive. Because she doesn't want Ben to think, "When I grow up, I'm gonna become a hunter." 

So she makes Dean choose and, in all honesty, she doesn't expect to see him again. But she does. Dean turns back up at her door that evening, smile unsteady and gaze sheepish. 

"What made you choose us?" She asks him that night, stroking a hand through his hair. 

He shrugs, leaning into her touch. "Sam convinced me to try. After promising to stay in touch all the time."

_Thank you, Sam_ , she thinks silently.

* * *

The first time Dean goes out to meet Sam, almost a month after moving in with her, he comes back with a smile. It's a small smile, but it's different from any other Lisa's seen and it makes his whole face glow. He kisses her soundly, let's Ben coach him through a video game, is jovial and upbeat in a way he rarely is. 

"Sam can stay the night here," Lisa offers. It's only polite and she's a little eager to get to know this little brother that Dean is so proud and protective of. 

Dean rolls his eyes. "I told him that, but he said he needs to leave early tomorrow, so maybe next time."

* * *

The next time is exactly a month later. 

"Invite him for dinner," Lisa suggests. 

Dean hesitates. "I think he kinda wants a guy's night out," he says, a little apologetic, with a _what can you do?_ smile. 

Lisa lets it go.

He comes back a little after midnight. She wakes up when he kisses the back of her neck. 

"Had a good night?" She mumbles sleepily. 

She hears and feels him sigh. "The best." It almost sounds a little sad, a little wistful. 

She's asleep again before she can think about it.

* * *

The third time, he comes back within three hours, way earlier. There's an odd look on his face, somewhere between confused and upset. 

That night, Dean's fingers bruise the skin of her hips, his movements fast and merciless as he drives her to near-insanity, leaving her gasping and moaning wantonly, secure in the knowledge that Ben's at a friend's house for a sleepover. 

Lisa is so lost in her own pleasure that she doesn't realize until much later that Dean didn't kiss her even once throughout it.

* * *

The fourth time, Dean lingers before leaving. He's looking at Lisa, looking at Ben. 

"I'll see you later," he says. It sounds like both a promise and a question. 

When he does come back, his face is white and he's trembling a little. She hugs him tightly, asking again and again what was wrong. 

"I think I've lost him," he finally says, sounding too weak and broken. "I… I did something. He's gone."

Lisa shakes her head. "He's your brother," she soothes. "He'll come back and he'll forgive you."

He shudders. "I don't deserve it."

That makes Lisa frown. "What did you do?"

He doesn't answer, just looks at her with a woeful gaze, green eyes suspiciously shiny.

* * *

A month passes. Sam doesn't come back. Dean is constantly on his phone, texting or leaving voicemails.

* * *

A second month passes. Sam doesn't come back. Dean starts drinking.

* * *

A third month passes. Sam doesn't come back. Dean starts having more nightmares which, more often than not, result in him waking up abruptly with his brother's name a mantra on his lips.

* * *

Four months.

* * *

Five months later, there's a new light on Dean's face.

"See you tonight, Lis," he calls over his shoulder.

But at night, her phone receives a text. _Staying the night with Sam. Don't wait up. See you in the morning._

Lisa tells herself the sudden sense of foreboding isn't rational. 

Dean comes back the next morning. He looks happy. There's a glow to his face that's been missing for months. 

His smile falters when he sees her, but it's so brief that she might have imagined it. 

Lisa hugs him. He hugs her back, kisses her quickly. She tells herself that he's only wearing a different cologne because he showered at Sam's motel room. 

Because what else could it be? 

Anyway, he stops drinking again and the nightmares dwindle.

* * *

The next time, Dean comes back happy again. But there's something strained about it, and he doesn't kiss her for the rest of the day.

* * *

The sixth time, Dean disappears for an entire weekend, with only occasional texts. 

When he comes back, he looks exhausted.

"What did you guys do?" Lisa is almost too afraid to ask. 

Dean shrugs, not meeting her eyes. "Nothing much."

She wonders if he went on a hunt, if he's been jonesing for it for a while and went off with Sam for a weekend of vampires and werewolves.

She considers confronting him about it. 

Then he mindlessly strips his shirt off for a shower and she sees the bruise on his shoulder.

Her breath catches in her throat, making her choke. It's too vile to even think about, too ugly and dangerous to put into words. 

Because what monster would leave a hickey?

* * *

The next month, Lisa drags Dean to bed and straddles him with something close to fury. She kisses him like it's a battle, leaves scratch marks down his back like she's claiming her territory. 

Dean eyes her with wariness later. He leaves to meet Sam the next morning. When he comes back a day later, the only marks on his skin are the ones she left and he's wearing his own cologne. 

But the shirt underneath his flannel isn't his. And it's a clear message. 

"Oh, fuck, you're right," he exclaims when she points it out. "I didn't realize. We've shared clothes before, stuff gets mixed up when you live like we did." He's laughing. 

But she already knows he was raised a con-man. He knows what's going on and Sam knows what's going on and they both know she's figured it out.

* * *

Lisa Braeden is not a stupid person. 

She knows what it means that Dean doesn't kiss her anymore. He barely touches her, though they're sleeping in the same bed. 

He's antsy, losing focus when he's quiet for too long. Everytime Lisa meets his eyes, she sees guilt in them before he averts his gaze. 

She might have felt vindicated at that, but the guilt is always accompanied by regret. And when he thinks she's not looking, she'll catch him staring off into space with longing.

* * *

"Just go," she says one night, when he wakes up gasping Sam's name. 

He looks at her- shocked and guilty. "Lis-"

"Just. Go."

* * *

A month later, he packs his bags. Ben doesn't ask for an explanation, like he'd been counting down anyway. Lisa can't bear to look at either of them. 

She doesn't stop Dean from kissing her though, one last time, and it's both gratitude and an apology. 

She cries that night, finally.

* * *

A month later, she's cleaning out the garage when she finds an old toolbox. She opens it, only to find a small pistol, a knife, a few cartridges. 

Of course, she remembers. Dean had kept weapons stashed everywhere. He must have forgotten this one. 

She's about to close the box, intending to deal with it later. But a photograph catches her eye. 

Both Sam and Dean look a good few years younger. Sam is grinning, head ducked down like he's shy. Dean is looking at him, like he always does, with a fond smile and soft eyes, with an intensity that was palpable even in a photo. 

Lisa stares at it for a few seconds. She wonders why she thought she'd ever had a chance of winning. 

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: kassyscarlett


End file.
